Part I – The History
My name is Patrick and finally, I have discovered my true purpose in life!
Even though I have lived out my entire life (all 62 years) as a straight, I have always harboured just the tiniest feeling that I am at the least bi and perhaps even gay. These feelings started before I even reached puberty when I was so much smaller and shyer than any of the other guys in grade school. They were long before the days as we know them when being gay is not such a stigma. Instead, words such as queer, faggot and the like were the brands. These feelings of estrangement followed me into high school and beyond.
All the way through high school, I never had a date since I was too afraid of being turned down or even laughed at. In fact, I only tried once or twice and became the butt of jokes for the rest of the school year in both cases. Masturbation was my only outlet.
As a university student and then as an adult, nothing changed until I met, on a blind date, my wife June. She was about as plain and unpopular as I was and I suppose that is what drew us together. She was 28 and I was 34 when we married – about 1 year after we met. It was as if we were afraid that if we didn’t act soon, it would be too late.
Our marriage was based somewhat on the pretence that we truly were in love; truth be told, it was more an act of quiet desperation on both our parts. We were both virgins on our wedding night; we had been too terrified of engaging in intimacy out of wedlock for fear that we would scare the other off. Needless to say, it was a case of the blind leading the blind and it remained an act of non pleasure throughout our 28 years of marriage. We were fortunate to breed (for that’s all it was) two surprisingly level headed children who went on to satisfactory lives of their own. Given the stale environment they were raised in, it is to this day a miracle in both our eyes.
Part II – Discovering Andy
Now, on to Andy; I am sure you are wondering how he figures into all this.
After about some 28 years of marriage (and a job that was less than stellar), I got up the nerve to cruise some erotic sites on the Internet. To be sure, I wouldn’t have had a clue about such ‘depravity’ but had overheard enough water cooler chat at the office (and in the Men’s Room) to pique my curiosity. Since I often worked at home, I had set up a home office complete with the latest technology computer. It was not uncommon for me to disappear there until bedtime so June was never aware.
I had learned enough about the Internet to know how to surf and search and this, along with some overheard tidbits, lead me to some pretty explicit sites. I often would spend an evening engrossed in every type of sex imaginable and even made so bold as to try something other than the usual missionary position with June but she was so shocked that she demanded to know where I had learned such terrible things. June was almost zealous in her faith (I had never darkened the door of any church since our civil ceremony) and wanted me to visit her pastor to cleanse such thoughts from my mind. Obviously I never went nor tried again.
I soon discovered that sex between men and women as displayed didn’t really excite me so I started reading erotic fiction online about man to man sex and I was hooked! But was there any way that I could find some way to experience the joys that I read about in these stories? I knew that most, if not all of them, were strictly someone’s overactive imagination at work but they nonetheless aroused me beyond anything I had experienced before. My constant excitement only fueled the flame further that I needed to be the partner in such an encounter.
Then, one day while surfing with my browsing software, an ad popped up for a dating service of some sort. When my curiosity got the better of me, I opened it to find that there were two parts – one for standard dating between men and women (sort of a dating service, I supposed in my ignorance) and another for more intimate short term relationships. As I scrolled through the list, I came across a link that took me to the same process for men. I was in my glory but I had to buy credits to use the service.
So the next day, I took the necessary cash from my special account (June did not know of this account and besides, she let me handle all the finances), purchased a money order and sent it off. For two weeks, I checked several times a day to see if my account had been activated. Finally, to my glee, up popped a window thanking me for joining and advising me to set up a profile. That took me a while until I was satisfied and I proceeded to send messages out to all that were of interest to me. The responses I received back almost immediately were very frightening and I erased them right away. Some were so demanding with their wishes that I almost deleted my name from the service.
Several weeks later however, I received a response from someone whose ID was Hot4U and his description stated that although he was in his early 40′s he had a thing for older men. This was fascinating enough that I sent him a response that I was interested and would like to know more about him. From his responses, and the back and forth messages we exchanged over the next couple of months, I began to feel a certain level of comfort. His name, he told me, was Andy. However, in spite of his entreaties that we must meet, I was still unsure and cautious.
Part III – The Meeting
It seemed like an eternity but I finally agreed to meet him over coffee in as public an area in which I felt protected in. We exchanged information about what we would be wearing so we would know each other to meet (I had never had the nerve to share pictures or any serious personal information until sure). He was to be wearing a red sweater and I would have on a blue one.
Once I arrived at the outdoor café where our first meeting was to take place, I lost my nerve and hid across the street to see him arrive. I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous; perhaps a little of being seen by someone I knew or more, that he wouldn’t like what he saw.
Then, from around the corner, he appeared. He had told me that he was in good shape but I wasn’t prepared for this Adonis who strode confidently, I thought, alone the street. His hair was a little thin, but blonde as he described. He was wearing the sweater – boy, was he ever wearing that sweater – and he seemed molded to his skin. His chest was full, tapering to a narrow waist and flared hips. All this was supported by strong well-formed legs. The latter was obvious since the slacks he was wearing were moving around his legs as he walked. All I could think was, ‘How am I to handle this? What a mistake I’ve made’.
I waited in the shade of the trees across the street and watched while Andy was seated at a small table and he ordered coffee, soon delivered. As he sipped the steaming brew, I realized just how cold I was; the days of fall were upon us and the sweater I wore wasn’t enough to keep me warm out in the park. Since the café looked so inviting with its heated patio, I finally crossed the street and walked on unsteady legs over to Andy’s table.
“Um, are you Andy?” I croaked out
“Yes, I am. You must be Patrick”
As we shook hands firmly, I looked into his deep blue eyes and fell into them; I was that entranced. I didn’t hear even one word until it finally dawned on me that he was speaking to me! “Oh, I’m sorry. What did you say”? What a brilliant conversationist I am.
“I said, what would you like?” as he guided me to a chair across from him. What would I like! All kinds of thoughts raced through my mind but, of course, remained unspoken.
After ordering coffee our conversation became more relaxed and we exchanged some information about ourselves and then simply segued into a very nice general discussion about sports (he likes, I don’t particularly), reading (we both like reading mysteries), politics (a sort chat since neither of us really cares) and a myriad of other trivial and interesting topics. This was, after all, a first meeting but one that boded well for more.
In fact, after an hour and a half and a carafe of coffee, he asked me the question I had dreaded most. “So, Patrick; what do you want to do now?”
“Frankly Andy, I wish I knew”.
“Let me make a suggestion then. I have an apartment within walking distance of here; would you like to come up and we’ll have some more coffee or perhaps some wine and talk some more”
Shyly, I told him I would enjoy that. Inside, I could only wonder what might happen and I was terrified.
Part IV – Andy’s Place
We walked for half a dozen blocks and arrived at a beautiful old six story brownstone with steps leading up to a leaded glass door. As we entered the vestibule, I was struck by the intricacy of the designs in the tile floor and the lightly finished wood molding and panels on the walls. “This is fantastic, Andy! Is your landlord this handy or did he contract it out?”
“Actually, I did all the restoration myself; this is my building. My apartment is on the top two floors” This was said with no sound of boldness or bragging; in fact, he seemed almost embarrassed by having revealed this information.
We climbed into the classic brass elevator – it still had the old handle that the elevator operators used to move the lift between floors. It had been modernized with all the new buttons and displays but I loved the nostalgia in leaving the operator control. It harkened back to my youth in Toronto when I would go the Simpson’s store downtown and watch with fascination the elevators operators (and the lady with her little clicker that sent them on their way). Of course, this was automatic and answered to Andy’s key to rush to the top of the building.
As we exited on the fifth floor, I was overcome with the plush designs with mirrors, flowers (obviously fresh), and prints of the old masters on every wall. It was taste and elegance personified. Andy led me without a delay to a heavy ornate wooden door and opened it to usher me in. The entryway echoed the taste I had seen in the space outside by the elevator. A long narrow table under the full length mirror showed another display of fragrant fresh flowers and a brass bowl where Andy dropped his keys. He led me into the living room and, while he went around to the kitchen to get the wine, he invited me to select some music after showing me where everything was.
I couldn’t get over the simplicity of the design in all spaces. The room was floor to ceiling windows on the west side which allowed the warmth and light from the afternoon sun to caress everything. Furnishings were few with a leather sofa and loveseat and some glass and brass tables and live plants creating a very relaxed space. Whilst I marveled at the surroundings, I busied myself with finding some relaxing music for background and selected some contemporary jazz. Andy’s tastes in music were eclectic and mirrored my own in many respects.
Andy returned to the living room and sat on the loveseat placing a cooler of white wine on the table separating the two leather pieces “Hope you don’t mind the choice” he said. As I sat across from him and raised my glass in a silent toast, I agreed with his choice.
Andy (overtly relaxed but I sensed as nervous as I), asked if I would like to start by explaining again why I posted to the site where we met and also just what were my expectations and desires from a relationship with another man. This was the question I had been mulling for years and I was so anxious, I was shaking and my mouth was dry. Andy could see my state and he got to his feet, crossed over to my side of the coffee table and sat beside me on the sofa. He leaned forward to rest his wine on the table and then took mine from my shaking hands and placed my glass beside his. Turning to me, he edged closer until we were only inches apart.
I swore that I could feel the heat from his thigh against mine as he slowly placed his hands on the sides of my face and leaned in to gently kiss me on the lips. It was such a soft kiss that I almost wasn’t aware of what had happened. It was over so fast that I couldn’t react. But, suddenly, as that kiss ended, my anxieties seemed to flow away and my breathing slowed to normal. He then pulled himself closer and kissed me again and this time I felt the gentle insistence of his tongue against my lips and they parted as of their own will. As I felt his warm tongue enter my mouth, I heard a moan and realized that it was from my own throat.
My own tongue was slipping into his mouth as I rested my hands on his shoulders and after a few minutes of this, we were both moaning with pleasure. I drew back suddenly and said “What am I doing here? This is happening so fast! Can we just talk?”
With a smile, Andy sat back facing me on the other end of the sofa and I, somewhat shaken but not upset except perhaps with myself, sat at the other end. We started to talk and time flew by. When I started to wind down, I noted that night had fallen and only the stars were showing through the large windows.
I made a decision that I, in retrospect, was likely to question. At the time, however, it seemed the right thing to do.
“Can we take this to the bedroom? I asked with perhaps more assuredness than was the case.
Andy led me to a curved wall in the corner and behind it was an elegant curved staircase leading upwards to the sixth floor.
Part V – The Bedroom
I followed Andy up those stairs and couldn’t take my eyes off the very tight ass that preceded me. Clad in form-fitting jeans, it was a sight to behold. As we entered the large bedroom, he turned to me and drew me into his arms for another deep passionate kiss. The passion was returned in kind since I was truly getting turned on by this amazing man. Even though he was almost twenty years my junior, it simply felt right; and judging from the way his cock was rubbing against me, he certainly had to be feeling the same.
We stood together, kissing and rubbing against one another for at least 10 minutes until he broke the kiss with a chuckle saying that he was going to cum if we kept that up. If my ego was at risk, this comment bolstered my confidence and at least some of my performance anxiety eased. In fact, truth be told, I was more aroused than I could ever remember! We separated by several feet and started to undress together; as one would remove an article of clothing, the other would answer. Soon, we were facing each other in the dimness of the room in only our briefs. Both of us were tented but I was only partially erect.
As Andy went around the room lighting candles (my God, I found a romantic!), I watched him, drinking in the well-defined musculature of this man I was involving myself with. He was truly magnificent and I couldn’t help by wonder what he would ever see in me. Ah, Yes! Those old feelings of inadequacy were washing over me again! Once he was finished with the candles, Andy turned to me in the flickering light and saw immediately that I was shaking again. He quickly crossed to me and took me into his arms –how protected I felt.
“Hush! Don’t fear! I will never hurt you. We will only go as far as you want. All you have to say is ‘stop’ and we will. Let’s just cuddle for a while”
He scooped me up in his strong arms and gently laid me on the bed. Standing quietly beside the bed, he removed his briefs and tossed them aside. His semi-erect cock seemed to throb in the candlelight as he climbed into bed with me. Taking me into his arms, He kissed my brow softly and rocked me gently until I felt all the tension evaporate.
Part VI – The Seduction of Patrick
As I started to melt in Andy’s arms, I found that once again, I was getting hard. When Andy gently placed his hand over my briefs, my cock shot to immediate full erection. I was so excited that I feared that if he touched me again, I would explode! He slowly slid his hand under the loose waistband of my shorts and touched my cock for the first time. The heat of his skin against my tumescent member caused me to arch my back as I cried out and came in spurts of pent up issue. I sobbed with mixed joy and humiliation because I had climaxed so fast but it had felt so good!
Andy smiled as he removed his cum-covered hand and, bringing it to his lips, licked it dry as I watched completely spellbound. “Yum! You taste so good!” he assured me and I felt myself hardening again. With amazement at my fast recovery – it had been many years since I had experienced such a miracle – I reached down to slip off my briefs and threw them to the floor.
Reaching up and clasping my fingers behind Andy’s neck, I drew him down for a deep kiss. For the first time ever, I tasted a man’s cum (even my own was new to me). I realized at that moment that I had to taste Andy to feel that I was on an even relationship with him and I told him so.
“You don’t have to do anything you are uncomfortable with, you know” he told me.
“But I want to” I replied as I rolled him over onto his back.
I glanced down to see that Andy’s cock was magnificently hard. I guessed it to be about 7 ½ “in length and quite thick. It also had an intriguing curve (sort of like a scimitar) with the curve inward facing towards his abdomen. As I salivated over it, I imagined how it would feel inside my mouth – and perhaps inside my ass should we reach the point of penetration. I groaned loud enough as I pictured this for Andy to laugh as he asked me what was wrong.
Since my lips were currently in the process of circling the wide head of his cock, my response of “nothing” was somewhat garbled. The feeling of the domed head as my mouth moved over it was amazing. This was the reality of all those dreams and fantasies over the years; it was real and I loved it! My fingers were circling the shaft near the base as I tried to absorb more in my mouth.
“Mm, that feels wonderful!” Andy moaned. “But please watch the teeth!”
I pulled back and carefully moved my lips to cover my teeth as much as possible and then lowered myself to take in his cock again.
Since this was so new to me, I couldn’t get much into my mouth without choking but that didn’t seem to faze Andy since his hips started to move upwards to meet my slowly sucking lips. We began having a pretty good rhythm going until he hissed “Fondle my balls!”
I looked downwards to where his full balls were swaying with each motion and I took one then both of the smooth sacks in my hand and gently squeezed them. They felt hard and soft at the same time and I loved the effect it had on Andy. He was moving his hips faster now and this encouraged me in my efforts to pleasure him.
As Andy was nearing his climax – this I knew because he was crying out over and over again “Oh God, yes! Don’t stop! I’m almost there”, I moved my face away from that wonderful cock and started to give him a hand job. Since I knew that I loved to pleasure myself and how, I used the precum that he was issuing in copious amounts to lubricate the strokes. As Andy’s breathing became more and more laboured, I knew he was close and I began stroking him in earnest. As I did, I lowered my tongue once more to lick around his glans; the effect was almost instantaneous. He arched his back crying out as he did “I’m cumming! Oh God, you are so good! More pleeese!”
I pulled away and watched fascinated as he shot spurt after spurt so high it struck him on the chin and neck and then coated his flat, heaving stomach. Some landed on my own face around my mouth and I instinctively licked it off. Mmmmm – a little salty and thick but not too bad at all! What have I been missing all these years?
As Andy’s cock slowly softened, I steeled myself and held it firmly in my grip and leaned in to lap up all the cum that coated his cock and my hand and savoured the taste as it rolled over my tongue and down my throat. Mmmmm – so good! After I had drunk my fill, I skidded up to cuddle with Andy and share another soulful kiss. My tongue, still coated with his cum, was greedily sucked dry.