Oh my god, I’m so fucking in love right now! You ever feel cummitty? You know like you just can’t stop orgasming enough and you want it more and more and more? Well, that’s how I feel.
Okay, so I went to this bar called Club FX and they were having a suds party. You know; where they get all kinds of soap suds and pile them high above your head on the dance floor. Well, I went with Marcie and Junie and we were drinking all kinds of shit. I know I had to have like four Long Island Iced Teas and two Wet Pussy drinks. They were so awesome! Anyway, they were playing Lil’ Jon and I was bumping and grinding with them both just as friends. Then, I suddenly got some soap in my eye. I was staggering out of control until this buff guy in a pink shirt caught me. Damn, this boy had some guns!
Well, his girlfriend came up from behind and saw that I was rubbing my eye really hard and it was starting to get red. So, she led me to the bar and got me a cup of water to help wash all of the soap out. Then, Mr. Pinky Studmuffin came up and asked if I was okay at handling the party or if I needed to get a ride home.
A ride from him? Oh god, how could I say no!? I’d want to commit the most painful suicide on myself if I were to deny that juicy rump roast.
So, I kinda looked down and played off like I wasn’t feeling too good and said that I’d appreciate it since I walked from the bar that was two blocks down the street.
That’s when this Boy Scout impressed the fuck out of me. He takes my arm and drapes it over his massive shoulders and starts carrying me toward the door. His girlfriend was about to go with us, but he said to just stay and have a good time. He asked me where I lived, and I gave him the location of a ghetto apartment complex that was a couple of blocks from my place. No, not that apartment where I had that encounter with that bitch who spilled her drink on me.
After I lied to him about where I lived, he exclaimed that he lived on the way over there and asked me if we could stop at his place so he could run in and get his girlfriend’s purse and some tampons since she was ragging. That just brightened everything up for me at that point. When he pulled into the drive way, I asked him if I could use his bathroom. He agreed and showed me the direction it was in, and I speedily walked in and locked the door.
At that moment, I was faced with the options of either continuing to feign sickness or take the initiative to force him into sex. I took the second option; it’s just more fun that way. That’s when my wheels started turning to grab a can of his girlfriend’s hairspray and the dental floss I found in the medicine cabinet. My plan was to spray him in the eyes and then strangle him and rape him. Just when I was getting psyched up about it, I heard a knock at the door and he asked me outside if I was okay.
I was sweating some .45 caliber bullets! I didn’t know what to say and I was drunk, too! Suddenly, I heard the door knob turning and stopping where the tumblers had fallen into place to keep the door locked. I grabbed my shit anyway and was prepared to try to pull some super-fast James Bond shit to execute my plan. Just when I was about to get to the door and yank a bunch of the floss out, the door unexpectedly reeled from a blow and splintered near the handle. I heard another thud and it flew open with my intended rape victim staring at me like I was a topless dancer with a third nipple.
At that moment, I sprayed the Aqua Net in his eyes and he screamed out in pain as he shuffled back and slammed into the wall, knocking a picture of him and his girlfriend off. I started to run out of the bathroom when he tackled me and got me in a bear hug. He was screaming out “oh no, you don’t! I had a feeling you liked it rough, but not that rough! I’m going to make sure you take your fucking medicine, you little naughty bastard!”
Then, he wrenched the floss out of my hand and started choking me with it. I think it wrapped it around my neck like four or five times and then he hoisted me up onto my feet. I could barely fucking breathe as he forced me into the bathroom and slammed my face onto the counter top.
He took his hands off me and told me not to fucking move or he was going to break my neck. I heard a draw open and he slammed some sort of plastic container down. As my curiosity got the best of me and I started to move my head, he slapped the right side of my face and scolded me. Then, he shoved my head down into the sink.
My nose was smashed against the white polyresin. I kinda started crying because of the pain that was all over my face. I felt his hands fumbling around my fly and he successfully jerked my zipper open after unfastening the stubborn button. Then, he forcefully pulled my pants down to my ankles. I’m glad I decided not to wear any underwear the club last night. Every time he tugged on me like that, the back of my head kept bobbing up and hitting the faucet.
After a few seconds that seemed like hours had passed, I heard the jar open. It sounded like a cork being pulled out of wine bottle. Then, he separated my butt cheeks with one hand and began smearing the contents of the jar all over my ass crack and hole with the other. No words were exchanged but I knew damn well that this guy meant business. Suddenly, I felt something slide in and out, in and out. It kept growing and growing after a few reps of going in and out. I couldn’t help but feel that same feeling like I was taking a shit in reverse and my dick was a pillar ready to punch a hole through the cabinet in front of.
The last feeling I remember was of the thing growing to the size of a coconut and going in and out of my asshole. Each time it was pulled out, it popped like that stupid-ass “Lollipop” song. After quite a few reps and pops, I came like it was going out of style. I felt my salty Jell-O splash onto the counter door and my legs mashed into it as it rolled heavily down from the pull of gravity.
When I woke up this morning, I was by a dumpster near those ghetto apartments I told that guy about. I was barely able to walk home because my asshole was so chaffed and stretched out. Fuck, I was practically crawling up my porch steps. Tonight, I’m going back to Club FX in search of that hunk of man. I want that ass loving again!